My pals: the Jehovah's witnesses

   We all have heard of the Jehovah's witnesses. Mostly by stories or scenes in movies where they knock on your front door and try and convert you into their believes.

 

   So here is my personal experience with them. I woke up early one morning, the time was 12:34. As usual I made myself a morning coffee, a drug I cannot start my day without. Just as I was sitting down I hear a knock on my front door. Usually I ignore people knocking on my door while I am having my coffee, because I am still in my PJ's and clearly NOT wearing a bra and my 'last night' make up had made it's way all over my face. Anyway, I decided to open the door this time, because I had a cigarette last night and I was still feeling quite chilled and thought to myself- hey, why not!

    I opened the door and to my surprise there was an old man accompanied by a young girl, both looking normal (which is quite rare for Scotland). The guy asked me how I was and handed me a leaflet with a picture of the world and headline saying 'WHO DO YOU THINK CONTROLS THE WORLD?'. Underneath the question there were three answers

1. God

2. The People

3. Someone else...

   The second I saw the answer the third option I said - SOMEONE ELSE! It's the top 6 richest people in the world that actually control them through money. The have enslaved the people with money and control everything in this world.

   Of course I knew that my answer was not expected, because the reply I got from the Jehovah's witness was a blank face. He then took a breath and said- what about God? And that was the moment I lost all faith in the Jehovah's witnesses. They were not here knocking on my door to ask for my personal opinion or to hear what I have to say. All they cared about was TALKING about their stuff and trying to convert me?

   So when he said- what about God? You don't think God controls the world
And I said that I do not believe in god, because I studied philosophy and psychology and I have made up my mind that no judgemental bearded man lives in the clouds.

   However, the old Jehovah's witness persisted and kept on asking: What about the REAL God, the good one, the one in the bible?
I did not hesitate for two seconds and replied- Oh, you mean the one that hates FAGS and don' think that rape is a crime... Oh OK. Well no, I do not believe in him either.

   And that is when the old man just looked at me with such pity, it's like I was a lost sheep.

Well OK, we will be on our way then....

   I closed the door thinking 'I might be lost, but I am definitely not the sheep here, pal'.