Finding yourself. One of the stupidest things I've heard but guilty of perhaps saying once or twice in my lifetime. I have noticed people saying things without really knowing what they mean like I am trying to find myself. The thing is that you are already there. The correct way of saying it: I am trying to get to know myself or I want to learn about myself. Now, who you are, is a completely different topic but the fact is- you are there, somewhere. A lot of people point to their heads, thinking they are inside their skulls. I personally don't think that's where I AM located. That's clearly where my brain is but I don't think I am brain. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I believe that my brain is just a tool ,similar to my fingers but more sophisticated, that helps me navigate myself through this life. Yes, it stores my memories, and as a firm believer of social learning theory I am positive it plays a big role in my personality and the way I make choices, however I don't feel it is me. Yes, I also believe it generates consciousness (or in other words: this strange feeling of realisation that you are realising stuff) but again- it is not me. When I close my eyes and try and feel ME- my heart skips. That's where I am- in my heart. And by me I don't mean my name, my history and my likes.
I seem to be in a constant onion peeling process where I have began to see everything as an onion that has layers. Years ago I used to think ME was- my likes, my personality and my memories however as time went by and I have looked more deeply (peeled a layer) I saw that those things were influenced (or learnt) by my parents, environment etc. So, was that really ME? Now I am in the process of peeling yet another layer of myself but I won't bore the audience any further. I am asking you to, or more like challenging you, to go to bed one night and begin to peel the layers. I will give you a hint- think about the moments where you were truly happy. Those specific moments where the layers have disappeared and your true self was the only one present. Not your name, not your friends, not your hobbies, not your favourite band/book etc, just you.
I suspect that all the recently "self-acknowledgement" themed posts are influenced by 1) I have spend a substantial amount of time questioning stuff, especially myself and 2) I started working in a mental health hospital and as I psychologist in training am all about that psyche. I also believe that one of the greatest gifts we are given by being conscious is not to merely be a biological consumer machines but to have the opportunity to get to know ourselves. I just so passionately believe that there is more to life than what I am told. Am I the only one left?
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