A secret and a promise

    Recently I've been asking myself :why do I write this blog? I am not trying to be a writer or a journalist. I don't pose a hypothesis or provide any arguments to support a thesis- I just write. The main reason of course is to get off my chest everything that bothers me. If I look deeper, the real reason is because no one cares to hear those things really so I may as well pretend that someone somewhere online cares. Maybe I wouldn't feel the need to write if there was actually someone to whom I could confide all the wrong I see in this world . Education system, political system, social system..... pretty much everything in my opinion is going downhill and no one seems to notice, no one seems to care. And if, once in a blue moon, someone actually speaks out he always seems to be the "minority". Because the majority is taught to keep things to themselves. We are taught not to share, but to keep everything that's of any importance to us- secret. No one cares that you are sad and going through bad time, but everyone cares to see a photo of your new car/house/hat.  And you know what, I don't give a shit about your new hat. I want to hear what makes you sad, what pisses you off. Maybe that way we could genuinely find something in common, something that we can all word towards improving.

    Oh yes, I do not keep it a secret, my life sucks (if I have to base my life on all my facebook friends and celebrities' pages I've liked). I don't go to 5* hotels, Maldives or eat out at a fancy restaurant. GOSH, I can't even upload a photo of me after a hard gym session...
I am one of those people that uses the social media platform to really say what's on my mind NOT to have it as a wall of exclusively happy moments/awesome lunches. I wish people would just stop pretending everything is fine, because it is not and just because I say that the king has no clothes, I am automatically branded as the party pooper.    


    What annoys me is that our society is solely based on individualism and competition. I am mainly talking about the western world (as always, because if you haven't seen the huge difference between western and eastern world than you should just go back to watching Keeping up with the kardashians), somehow the east is still managing to keep a commune (although if you are watching the news the east will be taken over soon).The bad bad west has subdued us into thinking that it is ok to be a selfish asshole so we have turned into a civilisation of cold and cruel beings that do not help each other anymore. The help that some people extend to is donating £5 a month to a charity, which goes down to corrupt channel (again, if you still think that charity money goes to real people in need, go back to watching The World according to paris hilton).


Competition and greed will destroy the planet, no doubt they have already destroyed the western world (which day by day is destroying the east and Africa). You buy a Porsche, however, your neighbour buys a Porsche too, in order for you to "beat" him at "I am richer" game you pay to get your car done up all in gold. But oh wait, next morning your neighbour has gotten his Mercedes all in diamonds. So the "who is richer" game ends up in you and your neighbours bombing each other because you just can't decide who is the better human being. 

    Same shit applies for us, average Joe's, too. "Woo I want the new iphone because my old iphone..... well its just not cool to have a 5 when 6 is out, you know what I mean?". FUCK YOU IPHONE USERS.

    I do not, in any way, try and make myself look better by going for the "rich" people. I am just as shit as them, however, I have taken the first step in acknowledging how bad and poisonous greed is. I am trying everyday to distance myself from this madness, which BTW is much much harder for me since I am a girl and fuck me girls love shopping! I love fancy make up, clothes, shoes.... but it just doesn't seem right anymore. First of all, they are all illusions, I do not need them and my desire for them is been conditioned by society. I have 10 pairs of jeans, 7 pairs of trainers, 4 boots; 8 high heels and make up worth more than £600 quid! WHY? Wow they are all pretty and they make me feel like I have more cool stuff than some of the other girls and by girls being jealous of my cool stuff I end up feeling better? This is what it all boils down to when it comes to items being bough by teen/early 20s females. I really really don't want to be part of that farce anymore! So my options are:

1. Don't buy anymore useless stuff and be excluded from the "cool club" and feel like a black sheep.
2. Buy stuff and be hypocritical.
3. Buy stuff and just don't think about the people who are unable to buy food.

    So this is my secret, I am just as shit as the people I blame for making life a shittier place. I am part of the problem.   

    Western culture has developed a game which we all participate in since our birth, not many think about the game let alone question it. It is hard playing life once you've seen what the "game" is all about. You just end up having to walk the hard, long road of being the change you want to see in the world. So, baby steps for me. I am not going to buy a piece of clothing or make-up that costs more than £20 (this is a biggie for me!; I can't commit to that when it comes to shoes yet...). I have long chosen not to purchase anything from McDonalds or Apple. I avoid Newpapers and TV. I try my best to only buy meat/eggs from butchers and farmers markets. I've stopped shopping from tesco and sainsburys. I eat as much raw vegetables and fruit as my student lifestyle can afford. I am trying and I will keep doing even if I never get to see a change, because doing the right thing regardless is what matters.